In my last post I had an imaginary conversation with the “deities” on my bedside altar: Durga, Kuan Yin, Jesus, a small Finnish witch, a crow and a turtle.
As I wrote this I was a little uncomfortable at the stance of the “deities”, and yet felt it to be real. “We can’t do anything to stop this,” they said when I raged at the rape of an eight-year-old girl.
We don’t want to believe that.
Daily I wish for a God who would act openly against the evil I see in the world (even wishing that certain people would find a lightning bolt landing in front of them jolting them off their feet, throwing them to the ground, and demanding that they change their ways! LOL).
But there are no lightning bolts.
We can’t sit back and count on “God” – whoever that god or goddess is to you – to do it.
That means…
Well, who’s left?
Me, you, us?
But then why do we have these “deities”? Why are these particular manifestations sitting on my altar?
Because they are some of my “Tla Twein.” I am drawn to them because they have something in their character that I want or need to acquire. Things I need in order to be the person I want to be.
From Durga I need the courage to stand up and fight – ferociously if need be – against the demon greed which is destroying our earth. From Kuan Yin I need to learn compassion – even for those who are the evil doers. I must not succumb to the hatred and contempt that perhaps the crow seems to express toward humans. From Jesus I need to remember that all I can do is throw my words out to the world and hope they are interpreted correctly… And I remember (even if Jesus did not say it in our brief conversation in the last post) that Jesus was willing to die for his cause. He didn’t hide from his opponents.
I think he was afraid.
Why else that lament in the garden, “Let this cup pass from me,” (Matt 26:36). But he continued despite his fear. Sometimes I’m very afraid just to say something, much less do something.
From the little witch I need to remember that being different sometimes brings on the wrath of others, being small makes it hard to fight the giant demon greed, but I must persist.
From Jesus and the little witch I need to learn to act despite my fear.
But what about the crow? Was that a true interpretation of the feelings of crows? I like crows. Why was I drawn to them originally? I think what I need from the crow is some defiance, some brazenness, some willingness to stand my ground. Crows know that humans are part of the circle of life, not apart from it. They aren’t afraid of humans, nor do they worship them. They know if humans continue their destructive greedy path they will end up extinct (unfortunately, bringing other species with them), but earth will survive.
The crows will fight for the survival of crows.
And I will try to fight for the survival of humans.
And because Jesus said, “as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me,” (Matthew 25:40) I will fight, not just for the survival of the human species, but for the survival of the tiniest little Muslim girl, for the survival of the poor, and the survival of all living creatures. My Tla Twein wil help me.
In my book, The Earth Woman Tree Woman Quartet, the protagonists, who have shape shifted to the form of one of their Tla Twein, are trying to bring humans back into the sacred Dance of Life, the Tsin Twei. You can order print versions from your local independent bookstore or purchase print and ebook versions at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.
Want to explore your own Tla Twein? In the fall I will be presenting a workshop in Oakland, CA where we will move and sing, write and create art work in search of the reason our particular Tla Twein call us. Contact me at connie@deephum.com for more information. Put “Tla Twein Workshop” in the subject line.